Paul J Johnson...

This past weekend Paul and I got up at 5:00 for a sunrise photoshoot... It was FREEZING. Here are a few pictures that came from that morning.

Watch out for this guy, world. You'll be hearing him on the radio.

Also note, if you're a photographer, please don't judge me. Because I certainly am not. Ha.

Sun Stand Still.

As I sit here alone in my room on this Saturday night I find myself rewatching Pete Wilson's message from last weekend. If you didn't get a chance to see it, I highly suggest watching it. I'll attach the video of it below... It's got some incredible truths in it.

Over the last couple of months I've really felt God prompting me. At first I didn't really know what it was about, but there was no doubt he was trying to get my attention. When it started, I was having the best time of my life. I had incredible friends, a great church home, and I felt like I had finally made the life that I wanted. But then this inkling started to creep up. I knew deep inside that I wasn't living out my life in the way that God had called me to live. I started feeling the need for one thing... Change.

But change in what? I loved life exactly the way it was at the time. It felt so effortless. And that, I soon discovered, was exactly the problem. I wasn't putting any effort into my life. I was living exactly how I wanted to live and was just breezing through without giving God a second thought. I didn't need His help right then. Things were pretty good.

But this feeling just wouldn't go away. It soon began to eat at me every day. I felt less like I was walking through life effortlessly and more like I was running from God in order to keep things effortless. Now if that's not ironic, I don't know what is.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down and finally went to God and really started seeking out what needed to be changed. And the answer that I soon realized scared the living daylights out of me... It was me. I was what needed to change. I felt God so strongly telling me that I was not created to walk through life with mediocrity as my main vehicle. No, I was created to lead, created to worship, and created to be a light to all those around me.

Immediately my fears of failure and rejection kicked in. If I change, I'll lose all my friendships. If I change, I'll be met with the judgment of others.

As I'm struggling with all these thoughts, I go to open up my Bible and a set of sermon notes from the beginning of April falls out. I looked over them and honestly did not remember the sermon one bit. I guess that says something about me paying attention in church. Ha. But one thing caught my eye. I had only written down one thing on the notes, and it was "Romans 6:14." I immediately flipped there and this is what I found.

"Sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."

Now normally I would see that verse as "Even when you screw up, it doesn't matter. I've got you covered."

But here's how I read it that night. "It doesn't matter what the world, or the law, says about the way you live or the changes you make. You don't answer the them. You answer to me. And when you answer to me, I will NEVER let you down."

So right then I made my "Sun Stand Still" prayer (if you watch the sermon, you'll know what I'm talking about). My prayer was, and still is, that I will become the person and leader that I know God has called me to be without any hesitation or restraint. Because I have no doubt in my mind that I can't do it without His strength. 2011 is going to be a year of restoring God's place in my life that has been apparently absent over the last bit, and I pray that I will not falter from achieving that goal.

Thanks for listening, anybody who made it through.

B

2010.

It is the rarest occasion when I blog. I tried to get into it over the summer but it just didn't happen. Maybe I'll do some more in 2011? It's not going to be on the top of my resolution list but hey, who knows what will happen.

Anyway, Pete Wilson's blog this morning inspired me to do the same. So here we go, my top 25 memories of 2010: (Note: It was way harder to come up with this list than you might think)

25) The entire 6th season of LOST.

24) The entire weekend of the Christian Showcase.

23) Photo time with the goose.

22) Sleeping all night in a hammock next to the ocean.

21) The day we went to Cookeville and found Phil Hagood's car at Tennesee Tech.

20) Dressing up like idiots and heading to the studio (which ended up being the TAB video we know and love as Umbrella)

19) The day I won Jason's Deli's Tuesday Trivia.

18) Our brief and frigid trip to Chicago.

17) The day it snowed like crazy and we almost died in Mr. Echo.

16) Watching the meteor shower on the coldest night of the year.

15) Both road trips taken with THE Tony Aumell that were set to the soundtrack of Gary Levox.

14) The day we spent preparing a surprise date night for Jarrod and Laura Morris.

13) The making of our wonderful Cornhole Boards.

12) Taking a trip to Baylor, bro.

11) Helping to provide flood relief with Crosspoint.

10) When I got retweeted by The Fray. Oh. Man.

9) The entire semester of dance classes.

8) Thugs And Bubbles playing at the Toms benefit concert in Knoxville and making more money than the headliner and the venue combined.

7) Making a fool of myself in front of Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman at Whole Foods.

6) The countless hours spent on TokBox over the summer.

5) Camping trip to Cummins Falls with a great group of people.

4) The time Paul J. Johnson and I spent on our friend Danielle's Christmas present. (Watch it here. Be proud.)

3)Lea Marie concert. Enough said.

2) Going to my friend's bi-lingual wedding in Atlanta, complete with a salsa-filled reception that lasted until the wee hours of the morning.

1) The entire day of December 30th, complete with celebrity mentions, lottery wins, unparalleled breakfasts, barbecue nachos, terrible movies, major lack of sleep, and mild to moderate stalking.


So there you have it. Maybe not the most exciting list, but I must say, I found it pretty fun.

Thoughts About Church.....

This could possibly be a controversial post, just warning you. I hope it's not, but if it is.. oh well. Life's more fun that way. Ha. And, as a disclaimer, this post is not pointed at any specific organization or group of people. It's just what's been on my mind.

I've been thinking a lot about the local church lately, and for some reason it's just been heavy on my heart. For as long as I can remember, I've sat in churches and heard some off the wall stats about how people's main complaints about the church are that the people are too hypocritical, and that they don't feel welcomed by the church. And that is normally followed up by somebody from the pulpit saying that everyone is messed up, and everyone is welcome there, no matter where you come from. And up to this point, that's exactly the truth. The congregation is filled with people from every walk of life and every background imaginable, and each and every one of them received a warm welcome when they walked through the door. And it is from that point on that I think a lot of churches lose it.

A dear friend of mine posted something online the other day that really resonated with me. It simply said "You can come as you are, but you cant stay as you are." That's what the church is all about, right? Taking people from hurting, broken backgrounds and empowering them to become new people? Yes... (And here come the big "but")... But I believe the line between "You can be changed by God" and "You can change to act like us" is blurred far too often. I think we have a tendency to say "Yes, you are absolutely welcome with open arms.. We would love to have you as part of our family!", when in reality, it's more like..

"We don't care if you're a recently divorced, slightly overweight, middle-aged guy that's going through a dry spell in life and doesn't look or dress anything like us... You are more than welcome at our Sunday morning service with the other 2,000 people! We won't judge you.. At least not publicly. We'll probably just keep that among our tight-knit group. And of course you can join a small group! But just make sure it's not one of our prayer groups... That's where we really dig deep and have our special moments. Oh, you play guitar? That's awesome! We'd love to get you connected to some other people in the church who also play guitar but can't play on stage because they don't look quite enough like they are trying to be rock stars."

I know, I know, my facetious overstatements are airing on the aggressive side. But let's be honest here.. how many times does this happen? I know I've done it. Most of the time before I even speak to a person I've already put 10 labels on the dude, only based on what he looks like. And I don't care if you completely disagree or want to argue with me... This happens every single weekend at church, no matter how much we say we "welcome people from every background".

So I guess the point I'm trying to make with the extra-long-winded-blog-vent is this:

Yes, I do believe that if you are truly going to become the man or woman that God has called you to be, "You can come as you are, but you can't stay as you are." I feel like the first part (You can come as you are) has to do with being welcomed. And I think the second (But you can't stay as you are) has to do with fulfillment. I think that can so easily be transformed by the church so that the first part remains about welcoming, but the second becomes about acceptance. "We will welcome you as you are, but we will never accept you as you are".

And when this happens, it simply gives the people who complain about unwelcoming, hypocritical Christians a good reason to do so.

B

Before you get old and boring....

Ok, so... I've had a lot of solo driving time lately which means one thing.. Lots of time to think. Among this thinking time, I got to reminiscing about the last few years and how incredibly blessed I have been. And I realized something... I have been fortunate enough to do things that most people would never either do or even think about doing. So, without any more hesitation, here's 10 things I think every person should do before turning 25, in no particular order. (Why 25? I don't know. It just seems like things get boring and real world-ish after that.)

1) Go Skydiving.

It will be worth every penny and every ounce of fear that is squeezed out of you. I promise.

2) Take a (super) spontaneous road trip.

And by this, I mean like... Get in the car with a friend or two and start driving in one direction without any plan at all. Some of my best memories have come from one of these.

3) See your favorite band play outdoors in the pouring rain.

You need a little luck with this one... But if it happens, its INCREDIBLE.

4) Take someone to watch a meteor shower.

Find someone that has never been, find a dark road, and just do it.

5) Dress up like rock stars for a night.

If you look cool enough, and carry instruments... people (specifically pre-teens) will think you are the coolest band ever. (this is a wonderful confidence booster)

6) Make a music video.

If you have a computer with a camera on it, that's good enough. You'll be glad you have this later in life.

7) Attend a Hispanic wedding.

At least go to the reception. The salsa dancing gets pretty crazy.

8) Camp next to a waterfall.

This leads perfectly into my next point..

9) Swim out to an island in the middle of the night to camp.

This will be a memory that will last a lifetime. Especially if, instead of a boat, you use a blow-up queen size air mattress.

10) See Celine Dion in concert.

I'm not saying... I'm just saying.

B

Life is very puzzling...

You know that feeling when you start a puzzle? The pieces scatter to cover the table and it's almost overwhelming to think that each of those individual pieces fits into the bigger picture somehow. You pick up that first piece, take a deep breath, and try to figure out where to start. What's really odd is, if you pick up a piece and look at it, it seems so insignificant. It's just a tiny little piece of cardboard with some indistinguishable marking on it. I mean let's be honest... There's thousands of them there. When they are all mixed up like this you would NEVER be able to tell if one was missing. But when they all come together to make this beautiful and perfectly fitting creation... The only one that is missing is the only one that you will notice.

This exact thought absolutely, 100% TERRIFIES me to think about. Because I feel like in my life right now, there's a million pieces in front of me, and I see them forming every day. Everything from seemingly random encounters with someone I had never met before, to a seemingly sub-par change of summer plans, to a series of “coincidental” conversations with an old friend. It's like I can see that these things are happening for a reason and I feel that they will be vital in big picture... But at this point they kind of look like, well, random little pieces of cardboard.

What really kills me is to think about what pieces have already gotten knocked off the table. What important friendship did I sell short because of my own selfish reasons? Who did I leave out of my life because I didn't see them as beneficial? Who did I let get lost in the mix because, at the time, they didn't perfectly fit into my puzzle?

I guess what I'm trying to get at here is the fact that so many perfectly ordained and coordinated things happen to us every day, and we have an undeniable tendency to write them off as an insignificant coincidence. When, in reality, these insignificant coincidences could very well be key pieces of our own puzzle.

B

P.S. I apologize for the horrific pun in the title.

It's a Love / Hate relationship.

Well this is my first ever blog post. I have no idea what to write.

So, I will simply put in something I have been working on for a while.
Toward the end of last summer I started thinking about the meaning behind the words love and hate, and how often we use them. So, just as a little experiment, anytime I thought to myself "I love that" or "I hate this", I would try to remember to jot it down. I've done it on and off for the last 9 or 10 months and here's the list I've come up with so far.

Things I love:
1) When Tony sings "You Are My Sunshine" to me before I go to sleep.
2) Saturday morning breakfasts.
3) When Paul Johnson sings.
4) Driving on the interstate with the windows down.
5) Blueberry scones.
6) Occasions where I can dress up.
7) The fall.
8) People watching
9) Fresh Clementines.
10) Sitting next to/in a river.
11) Stupid Laffy Taffy jokes.
12) Driving down huge hills in neutral.
13) Catching up with old friends.
14) Meteor showers.
15) Sour apple gummi rings.
16) LOST
17) Walking in the pouring rain.
18) Driving places I have never been.
19) Taking photographs of people
20) When someone you haven't heard from in a while calls you up just to chat.
21) Swedish Fish.
22) Warm spring mornings.
23) The Fray.
24) Camping.
25) The smell of summer.
26) Waterfalls.
27) Mr. Echo.
28) Spontaneous road trips.
29) New Years Eve.
30) Having my dog wake me up in the morning.
31) Fido coffee dates with Paul.
32) Skype dates.
33) Jason's Deli.
34) Jack Freakin Wilson
35) Waking up to text messages.
36) The smell of fresh baked bread.
37) The smell of rain.
38) When it snows really hard.

Things I hate:

1) Being talked down to.
2) When people make up stuff to make it seem like they know what they are talking about.
3) Being under-appreciated.
4) Foot blisters.
5) Body odor.
6) Apathy.
7) People that think they are good enough to cover a Michael Jackson or Beatles song.
8) When people don't use blinkers.
9) Allergies.
10) People that form an opinion just so they have one.
11) Going to the movies in huge groups of people.
12) The hiccups.


I guess I'm a lover, not a hater?

Will blogging end up on one of these lists? Who knows.